An interview with All of Us Strangers director, Andrew Haigh

"There's the generation I'm in [who] grew into our sexuality during HIV/AIDS, who are scarred by how it felt growing up gay at that time" Andrew Haigh talks to Nick Levine on the films release

Andrew Haigh's All of Us Strangers is a ghost story that will haunt queer audiences in particularly profound and confronting ways. The film follows Adam (Andrew Scott), a gay screenwriter living an isolated London life, as he falls for his equally lonely neighbour, Harry (Paul Mescal), in between visits to his childhood home. During these solo trips back to the suburbs, Adam reconnects with the ghosts of his parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell), who died in a car crash when he was 12. Adam is now older than his mother and father were when they died, which gives their relationship an inescapable pathos. A scene where he comes out to his mother – a kind woman whose negative view of gay men's prospects reflects the bigoted era she is frozen in – is absolutely shattering.

Haigh, who previously made the gorgeously understated gay romance Weekend and cult LGBTQ+ series Looking, says queer generational trauma is at this story's core. Though All of Us Strangers is "loosely based" on Taichi Yamada's 1987 novel Strangers – the book features Adam and his phantasmic parents, but not his love interest – it also draws from Haigh's own experience of queer trauma. "The generation above me were gay before AIDS, but then their community was decimated by the epidemic," says the 50-year-old filmmaker when we meet at a Soho hotel. He's a warm and thoughtful presence happy to explore his film's sticky subject matter. "Then there's the generation I'm in [who] grew into our sexuality during HIV/AIDS, who are scarred by how it felt growing up gay at that time," Haigh continues. "I see it in friends – I see it in myself. You're totally fine; you've got over it. And then you think about it a little bit, and back it all comes.”

Andrew Haigh on the set of ALL OF US STRANGERS. Photo by Chris Harris. Courtesy of Searchlight Pictures. © 2023 Searchlight Pictures All Rights Reserved.

Adam may come face to face with the ghosts of his parents, but he is also affected, in a more subtle and toxic way, by the spectre of Section 28. Enacted by Margaret Thatcher's Tory government in 1988, this callous piece of legislation prohibited local authorities from the so-called "promotion of homosexuality". In effect, it left teachers scared to mention gay relationships even in sex education lessons. "There's a generation of [queer] people who are still dealing with that shame – shame that was put upon us," Haigh says. "We didn't feel shame because we were gay; we felt shame because we were made to feel ashamed. And I wonder sometimes if that's quite hard for the younger generation to grasp." Haigh says one person who watched All of Us Strangers – a queer person – said to him afterwards: "You know, self-loathing gays will love this film."

Haigh's response to this remark was characteristically nuanced and empathetic. "I was like, 'That's really interesting to me.' Because as a younger queer person, you're now putting shame upon me for having shame that was never my fault and was put upon me by society," he says. "But look, at the same time, I get it.  I know what I was like in my twenties: I reacted against the gay generation before me, who were the ones that really had to deal with the horror of AIDS. I think we inevitably do that when we're faced with a generation before us that has been in pain." Haigh also says, more optimistically, that he believes the LGBTQ+ community "is becoming better at being gentler and kinder to each other". We're learning to focus on our common ground, not our differences, he thinks. "We're all a little bit broken and have stuff to deal with, whether you're 20 or 70," he says. "And so I think we're becoming more compassionate to [the idea of] all of us being a little bit broken."

Haigh's film finds catharsis in this common ground. Though Adam and Harry have about a generation between them, their mutual loneliness is what draws them together. Adam is deeply scarred by the loss of his parents, whereas Harry is acutely aware that his queerness sets him apart from the family unit. "I think we all understand that feeling of just being on the edge of the family," Haigh says. "You just feel a bit nervous about doing or saying certain things. And you do things a little bit differently because you don't want to be part of that thing." Haigh believes it's up to us, as queer people, to have "awkward conversations" about times in the past when family members may have been homophobic. "I think it's important not to pretend that it didn't happen," he says. "Sometimes you do need to say: 'Remember what you said about me when I was younger?'"

All of Us Strangers is often stingingly sad, but it also has moments of release including an evocative club scene shot at iconic LGBTQ+ venue the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. Above all, it’s a film with a keen belief in the healing power of love. Frankie Goes to Hollywood's stunning 1984 ballad The Power of Love doesn't just feature on the soundtrack; its lyrics are written into the script. "It's this massive, operative song about loving and caring which was written by someone gay just as HIV/AIDS was emerging," Haigh says. "And if you listen to the words, I actually think it nails what love is: 'I'll protect you from the hooded claw / Keep the vampires from your door." It's not saying, 'What do I get from love? It's saying, 'What can I give?' That's what a parent is to a child. But it's also what a [romantic] relationship should be like." Driven by devastating performances from all four actors, and Scott in particular, All of Us Strangers is destined to be felt very deeply. You'll leave thinking about your own queer journey and wanting to call someone important to you – be it a partner, parent or member of your chosen family.

All of Us Strangers is in cinemas from Friday 26 January.